You are viewing chinookdriver

joe's Journal

> recent entries
> calendar
> friends
> profile
> previous 20 entries

Wednesday, December 14th, 2011
10:11 am - i cant believe my profile hasn't been deleted yet
Just thought I would stop by and see if my old profile was still up and to my amazement it was!! The last time I posted i was quite 28 yet. Found some old posts and had to put them on FB. Hope everyone is doing well. Happy Hollidays!

(comment on this)

Wednesday, November 14th, 2007
10:02 pm - Read it then do it!!
1. The age you will be on your next birthday

2. A place you'd like to travel

3. Your favorite place: Home

4. Your favorite object

5. Your favorite food

6. Your favorite animal

7. Your favorite color

8. The town in which you were born

9. The town in which you live

10.The name of a past pet

11. The first name of a past love
ummm no

12.There is no 12

13. Your nickname/screen name

14. Your first name

15. Your middle name

16. Your last name

17. A bad habit of yours

18. Your first job

19. Your grandmother’s name: Bessie

20. Your major in college

(2 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2007
10:17 pm - It only took 2 YEARS!!
So I'm sure some of you have heard G and I complain about our across the street neighbor. Its the wife or girlfriend or whatever. She would NEVER say Hi or give that normal friendly wave when we (Me or Gina)all see each other. Every time we would meet her when going to the mailbox we would try to say hi or give that friendly wave and she would just turn the other way and jet, even when it was OBVIOUS she saw us. Well tonight I was taking out the garbage and when I was putting the trash can on the curb she was pulling into her driveway. I set the can on the curb as she was getting out or her car. I waved and said Hi.........This is when the Stars, moon and magnetic field of the earth all lined up.......SHE WAVED BACK!!!!!!! OMG! It only took two freaking years for our NEIGHBOR to wave!!!! I'm sure World Peace is next.

(6 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, March 21st, 2007
9:24 pm - BORED!
Another Boring night sitting here as the Night Duty Officer. Waiting on an aircraft to finish flying. It would be alot better if the Directorate of Information Managment (DOIM) had not blocked so many web sites like myspace, ebay, online games, etc. Luckily for me LJ is still working.

(1 comment | comment on this)

Monday, March 19th, 2007
10:51 am - A HOOK STORY
There I was at six hundred feet over central Iraq, one hundred seventy knots and we're dropping faster than Paris Hilton's panties.

It's a typical September evening in the Persian Gulf; hotter than a rectal thermometer and I'm sweating like a priest at a Cub Scout meeting. But that's neither here nor there. The night is moonless over Baghdad tonight, and blacker than a Steven King novel. But it's 2003, folks, and I'm sporting the latest in night-combat technology - namely, hand-me-down night vision goggles (NVGs) thrown out by the Air Force boys.

Additionally, my 1962 Boeing CH-47D Chinook is equipped with an obsolete, yet, semi-effective missile warning system (MWS). The MWS conveniently makes a nice soothing tone in your headset just before the missile explodes into your airplane. Who says you can't polish a turd?

At any rate, the NVGs are illuminating Baghdad International Airport like the Las Vegas Strip during a Mike Tyson fight. These NVGs are the cat's ass. But I've digressed.

The preferred method of approach tonight is the random shallow. This tactical maneuver allows the pilot to ingress the landing zone in an unpredictable manner, thus exploiting the supposedly secured perimeter of the airfield in an attempt to avoid enemy surface-to-air-missiles and small arms fire.

Personally, I wouldn't bet my pink ass on that theory but the approach is fun as hell and that's the real reason we fly it.

We get a visual on the runway at three miles out, drop down to two hundred feet above the ground, still maintaining one hundred seventy knots. Now the fun starts. It's pilot appreciation time as I descend the mighty Hook to one hundred feet and smoothly, yet very deliberately, yank into a sixty degree left bank, turning the aircraft ninety degrees offset from runway heading. As soon as we roll out of the turn, I reverse turn to the right a full two hundred seventy degrees in order to roll out aligned with the runway. Some aeronautical genius coined this maneuver the "Ninety/Two-Seventy." Lowering the thrust during the turn, I pull back on the stick just to the point my nether regions start to sag, bleeding off energy in order to configure the pig for landing.

Before Landing Checklist!" I look over at the copilot and he's shaking like a cat shitting on a sheet of ice. Looking further back at the Commander in the troop seat, and even through the NVGs, I can clearly see the wet spot spreading around his crotch. Finally, I glance at my steely-eyed flight engineer. His eyebrows rise in unison as a grin forms on his face. I can tell he's thinking the same thing I am.... "Where do we find such fine young men?"

"Pink light" I bark at the shaking cat. Now it's all aimpoint and airspeed. Aviation 101, with the exception there' are no lights, I'm on NVGs, it's Baghdad, and now tracers are starting to crisscross the black sky. Naturally, and not at all surprisingly, I grease the Goodyear's on brick-one of runway 33 left, bring the thrust up just a bit and then 2 inches of aft stick. Tonight, the sound of freedom is my six blades chewing through the thick, putrid, Baghdad air. The huge, fifty thousand pound, lumbering whisper pig comes to a lurching stop in less than two feet. Let's see an Air Force weenie do that!

We exit the runway to a welcoming committee of government issued Army grunts. It's time to download their beans and bullets and letters from their sweethearts, look for war booty, and of course, urinate on Saddam's home. Walking down the cabin steps with my lowest-bidder, Beretta 92F, 9 millimeter strapped smartly to my side, I look around and thank God, not Allah, I'm an American and I'm on the winning team. Then I thank God I'm not in the Air Force.

Knowing once again I've cheated death, I ask myself, "What in the hell am I doing in this mess?" Is it Duty, Honor, and Country? You bet your ass. Or could it possibly be for the glory, the swag, and not to mention, chicks dig the Air Medal. There's probably some truth there too. But now is not the time to derive the complexities of the superior, cerebral properties of the human portion of the aviator-man-machine model. It is however, time to get out of this shit-hole. Hey copilot, clean yourself up! And how's 'bout the 'Before Starting Engines Checklist."

God, I love this job.

(6 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, January 25th, 2007
10:12 pm - The Devil wears Prada...
SO Gina and I have NEtflix and today we watched The Devil Wears Prada. Total chick flick right? Well, actually it was pretty good. It was like an action movie....brutal and stressfull. Anyways Gina thought it was funny when I actually was into it.

(4 comments | comment on this)

7:04 pm
So today at work i get a phone call on the secretaries phone. I answered and it was someone from the FatCat. They wanted to extend an invitation for a guest list for the next two weekends (Fri/Sat) to all military and Government employees. While I was getting the info and adding my name + 10, I told him I was DivaGrrl's Brother in law. He was very suprised and told about how someone had called about some tickets a while back and it turned out to be her mother. It was interesting because out of all the phone calls we get in a day, Fat Cat was one, and I happend to pick it up.

(2 comments | comment on this)

6:58 pm - Helicopter shot down in Iraq
Art Laguna was shot down this week in bahgdad Iraq. He was a California Guardsman. He was flying for the private security company BlackWater. Here is the email that his brother, who also works for BlackWater, sent to the news to get the story right. Art was a very proffesional Pilot in both the California Army National Guard and BlackWater Company. We will all mourn the loss.

current mood: sad

(comment on this)

Monday, January 22nd, 2007
3:09 pm - New HDTV
Just bought a new HDTV for $2542.00!! Sweet Deal!

62 inch DLP HDTV + a free stand
Integrated 160GB DVR
Digital Cable Card Ready
2 HDTV Tuners

current mood: excited

(3 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, November 21st, 2006
7:12 pm - WTF
WTF is up with Gwen Stefani's new song "Wind it Up"? I just saw/heard it for the first time on the AMA's. I kept waiting for the stupidity to end and it never did! I thought it was a joke but I guess she was serious! She needs to get back to what made her famous.

(2 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, September 5th, 2006
10:34 pm - Quixtar (QuickStar) a Scam!?

(comment on this)

Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006
4:37 pm - Always remember, we are a nation at War

(3 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006
6:57 pm - So today I ran into.....
Today I had to fly to Camp Roberts to pick up some ammo. (continue)Collapse )

current mood: happy

(11 comments | comment on this)

Saturday, February 25th, 2006
7:19 pm - House for sale!
We put my Moms house up on the market. No pics as of yet.

current mood: drained

(4 comments | comment on this)

Monday, July 4th, 2005
9:19 am - soldiers in swimming pools disgusting? wha?
I saw a post on someone elses journal about how they thought it was disgusting that we had soldiers chillin by the pool at one of saddams palaces, which first upset me but now that I have had some time to think I realize that freedom is about being able to express your opinions even when it is not with the majority.

The argument about whether or not we (the U.S.) should even be in Iraq is a very heated debate that i think would just cause alot of controversy. I think there are good points each side of that debate have.

Onto this topic. Saddam was this era's Hitler. He was a foul dictator who chemically gassed the Kurdish people because they had different religious beliefs. As far as imagining them playing by the pool at the white house, try to imagine families getting killed in their own home because they were not Sunni Muslim. This was not a "nice" man. He kept his country in poverty so that he could build those "palaces".

We are there, teaching the Iraqi people to fight against the terrorists and dictatorships themselves. I have seen fist hand that not all of the people there are "bad". I shook hands with many locals when I went to the towns. I have also seen the ones that launch mortars into our camps and the ones that shot at my formation as we flew into bahgdad.

What do you think it is like sitting in 130+ degree temps? Im not saying I had it the worst, but I have seen infantry soldiers living in cement culverts in clothing they haven't been able to wash in months. I also saw how their faces turned from beat and tattered to smiles when we brought them their mail and some food and water. The elements out there out a great deal of stress on our soldiers. Not to mention the actual fighting. They are dealing with it. They are dealing with the fact that they could get the HEADS CUT OFF if they are captured.

I do not think it is disgusting that we are human enough to give a damn about our soldiers. To know that they cant keep going just on prayer. When these soldiers go to the R&R locations, they are reconstituting themselves. And are able to better serve their units when they return to them.

I think I've ranted long enough. I respect your opinion, I just have my own. Happy 4th of July.

current mood: Patriotic

(17 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, May 12th, 2005
5:30 pm - Ok...quick update.
Well I think gina has pretty much kept everyone up to date on the last weeks events. Saturday, I sliced my finger open and almost made Gina pass out. Got three stitches, Simon I'll post a pic just for you, they get to come out tomorrow. Tuesday we got into our new house!! The moving in thing sucked! now I'm all sore and achey. We now have cable, internet, and all of our furniture. And......lets see.......I have drill all weekend and then I get to fly up to Mt. Shasta on Monday. That should be fun..hopefully the weather holds out for us. OH. The title company gave us a $1027.98 refund check...that came in really handy! Anyways..its back to work for me...I have to sit in on an Air Mission Brief for this weekend.....Sometimes being the Safety Officer sucks. But at least im getting some extra pay for it. Cya

current mood: tired

(10 comments | comment on this)

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
8:15 pm - We Bought a House!
Well today Gina and I went to the walkthrough of the house and made sure everything was hunky dorey with the house. We checked all the cabinets and drawers, the fence, power outlets and switches. Then after we went back to work I got a call from the Title Company. They wanted me to sign the papers. So I set up an appointment for 5:00pm. I left work a little early so I could go get the cashiers check to pay the rest of the down payment. It sucked watching all that money leave my account. But then I signed the papers and we are set to get our keys on the 10th!! Im very happy but now the stress starts.

(10 comments | comment on this)

Saturday, April 16th, 2005
3:16 am - Chads 21st
Well tonight we took Stefs brother Chad out for his 21st make a long story short, we got him trashed. When we got to the Waterloo Country Club he was already buzzin. Ater the family left we took him to MoJo's where we made him drink 3 wise men, Kamakazi, Patrone, and 3 the time we left he was trashed and I really mean trashed!!! Then we went to El Rancho. Had fun there. Once we all started to leave Chad told me to help him get out of the bar. Which I gladly did. We took him to B-fast where he tried passing out....but we just kept taking pictures of him and waking him up. When we got up to go home he fell and Dave had to catch him..LOL. He was pretty much a gonner. Happy 21st Bro!

(2 comments | comment on this)

Friday, April 15th, 2005
1:38 pm
B O R E D ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

(4 comments | comment on this)

Thursday, April 14th, 2005
8:10 pm - apologies in advance to the french
This was sent to me in an email:

An American is having breakfast one morning (coffee, croissants, bread,
butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him.
The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You American folk eat the whole bread??"

American (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat
what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform
them into croissants and sell them to the states." The Frenchman has a smirk
his face.

The American listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

American: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).

"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the
peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into
jam and sell the jam to the states."

After a moment of silence, The American then asks: "Do you have sex in

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

American: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

American: "We don't. In America, we put them in a container, recycle them,
melt them down into bubble-gum and sell them to France."

(4 comments | comment on this)

> previous 20 entries
> top of page